I just wish I was fucking dead already.
They say it’s not about weight. And then weigh you.
They say it’s about needing control. And then take the control away from you.
They say it’s not about calories. And then tell you you’ve eaten too many or not enough.
They say it’s possible to recover. And then they tell you that you have a 50/50 chance of relapse.
They say it’s a state of mind. And then they tell you that you don’t meet the physical criteria.
i deserve every cut
every mental illness
everything i’ve ever done to myself
i deserved it.
So mom’s getting me a gym membership and diet pills. That’s not something I should be thankful for but I am. Oops.